Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Its been a long time since I really sat down and put my heart in writing a decent post.
Two twenty in the morning and I'am still wide awake thinking of stuff that has been bothering me for a considerable number of nights.
I would like to thank all those who tried to lift my spirits in this particular period of time; people who tagged, people who messaged, people that asked.
You guys seriously rock.
The emo-ness that has been blanketing me finally backed off, to my relief.
My expensive retreats to the pool table and bowling alleys paid off, and it really helped to take my mind off things.
I have been trying to find new angles, new perspectives to look at things, perhaps putting myself in people's shoes.
But everywhere I searched, I still found umistakable disappointment.
I somehow find myself brushed away, like a irritable housefly, an insignificant bug.
And the hand that swept it away from your shoulder did some incontrovertible damage to the fragile lines that keeps friendship together.
Still, you can get pretty lucky sometimes.
Mum said the invoice wasnt submitted for some reason, and there wouldnt be any problem cancelling the order.
Then again, I was probably damn unlucky on the other hand to even need to do that in the first place.
Ah, enough melodrama for one day.
The new year is coming, and I figured I'd probably talk about the new year wishes I will have for the year 2010.
New Year Aspirations: Top 5, in no particular order
1) Be a better person
The heading is too general for anyone to guess what aspect of my personility I will want to be building on. You remember the times where your teacher will hand out a pile of dumb self reflection surveys for students to complete? They're actually, quite useful if one puts in effort. But in my opinion schools are just wasting their time by forcing things out of students. haha. k enough said.
Now that I will have a steady flow of income once I enter the army, perhaps I want to be more trifty, less selfish and more generous. I used to ( and still ) admire those who are able to slot their coins into donation boxes without having to feel the pinch at their wallets. It is this act of giving that intrigues me, and I still find it hard to follow suit. Excuses just pop out and you will stroll away reassuring yourself : 'Hey he'z just another fake'
Those who'd hang out with me will know an aspect of me that is much harder to accept. I value my face very much. The effect from this undesirable trait is that I also find it very hard to apologize even if I know I'd done wrong. If I do, I'd will just shut up and walk away. Its a bad habit, and I'am still trying hard.
2) Switch Flab for Fab
After Volleyball trainings permanentely ended about a couple of years ago, I have unwittingly plunged myself into a life of sedentary activities, and hence also reduced physical exertions. No, I cant possibly do a 2.4 run if u asked me to now, and I will already be contented with being able to put my chin 6 times above the bar at current rates. Now it gets worse. With no priorities except enjoy, play and slack (which are all actually the same thing), I'am submerged into a hedonistic lifestyle. Wake up late in the morning(or early noon), find some ppl to go crazy together, stare at the monitor till late night, then tucking under my blanket in an unearthly hour.
Friends have recently commented about the >>flabbiness/chubbiness/nutrition value of my stomach. I admit, it isnt anything to be proud about. But its still a far cry from what I was in primary school. Now, I need a greater change. And this two years will be the best time to get rid of those unwanted flesh.
3) Preserve age old traditions
Hmmmm....what does it mean?
Okay.
Take a look at these.
Christmas 2008
*******If u dunt know what year is this plz just......OKAY OKAY. Christmas THIS YEAR. HAPPY?! And I realized something else too! We rotated round the house to take photos every single year! =x
2010 we use storeroom.
2011 we use toilet
2012 wouldnt matter coz the world would have ended before Christmas anyway. =p
4) Obtain reasonable results and avoid being a nurse
I have obviously no control over the marks I can get now at this time. Maybe if I were a time traveller like Hiro Nakamura I will go to the past to fix my messed up chem paper. And maybe I'll go to the future as well as see if I really wear a pink suit with a red cross emblazoned over my uniform while I'am on duty. I DUNT WANT TO BE A NURSE!!!!!
But I really hope for the best.
Just give me 2 As 2 Bs.
It'll be like I have been reborn.
LOL.
5) Work on relations
After what happened I'd probably need to spend alot alot of time on this.
hahaha.
In a nutshell,
I still dunt want to lose anyone of you guys yet. =)
Okay its really really late, like, 330 in the morn.
I really need to catch up on my sleep.
Blackspectrum wishes all readers a very happy 2010.
May all asperations become a reality.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Christmas Blues
I feel cheated by everyone
Its like they're so distant already
Its high time you thought for your ownself before u think of sharing the joy of Christmas, dude.
Now I need to figure out how to grow a stomach of 3 times the orginal size,
and beat a heart so cold I'll dun even remember being hurt.
Guess thats what they call Cold Turkey on Christmas day
Faith misplaced
vball party was awesome though.
Thanks you guys. =)
"Imagine what the world could be if everyone started to put people's priorities before their own."
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
At the stroke of twelve,
many things change.
It is a new day;
the very intermediate between today and tomorrow.
For some,
it is a whole new year with regard to the day they were born,
With Christmas fast approaching it came as a double celebrations for this particular birthday girl.
Some people just know when it is good to be born! XD
After paying a visit to Ray's household and investigating his apartment from his bedroom to his cupboards (and learning that he has four bolsters at home which he can alternate between everyday),
we travelled to Mega Mall of the West, JP where their epic journey begins.
Now you must be wondering, 'their?'
Yea. In fact my journey in JP began the day before with Bernard,
in search for both Christmas and Birthday presents,
hence the entire map of Jurong point,
every nook and cranny that it hides,
are all very etched in my mind.
I toured the whole mall intensely for a frighteningly two days!
hahaha!
But I'am still glad that I managed to find what I wanted,
and I'd think Ber yc and ray will feel the same way as well.
That thing sitting in boon lay can really put up a fight with Vivo.
Anyway,
I was in for a very shocking surprise on the first day I went on my shopping expedition with ber.
Imagine,
you walk into a stall preparing to comb the stall for a birthday gift,
when suddenly the birthday person appears in front of you asking how may he/she could help you.
Thats exactly what happened that day and things really could not have been more coincidental.
hahaha.
Ber's jaw was like hanging open when I told him who was inside.
(I saw liying that day and Sim the day after, JP's swarming with familiar people really. I havent even mentioned the whole batch of cousins who waved to yc wildly after they met.)
Okay, I shall stop here for now.
230 in the morning. hahaha.
I'll just let the pictures speak for themselves.
Goodnight everyone,
Santa Claus is coming to town. =)
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Great. I finally uploaded all the photos that i have while reading my library book.
A great many have chosen this week for an overseas trip, and this list is rather long...
-Alvin (Genting)
-Kok li (M'sia)
-Sien (M'sia)
-Lucas (Egypt, sliding down the spine of the spinix)
-Ben (Forgot)
-Raymond Tay Yew Long (Did a catwalk down the corridors of his hotel which he recorded in facebook)
-Joyce (Taiwan n Japan n i hope she doesnt come back. k kidding.)
-Zhi An (Eating sushi)
-Crystal (S.Africa, her choice of an overseas trip confounds me till this day)
-The PJ vball team (M'sia. I seriously doubt they only went there to train)
-Lu Lu (came back from PJ vball team trip n is planning to pang seh us for Christmas Party by flying to Taiwan)
Holy Hell. It is like S'pore is becoming inhaibitable or something. Everyone is evacuating. Lucky I still have people like me who are stuck on the island like Yong chee and Nicholas.
Never mind, talk some other time then.
I'am lazy.
Monday, December 14, 2009
With Christmas round the corner, preparations are already underway for Christmas 2009. =)
Star light, Star bright?
Post A level life has seen no end of enjoyment for many of us, but it has also created a kind of boredom that we could not have conceived before the exams ended.
Now that Prom is officially over, my exercise regime can finally kick into full swing, and at the same time prepare for the much anticipated Christmas celebrations.
Watching meteor showers was never my favourite kind of hobby, due to my short attention span, but just yesterday I headed to west coast in hopes of catching a glimpse of this rare astromnomical activity.
Supposedely the peak of few days, kaisheng had concluded from his knowlegeble brain.
And he would have been correct,
if not for the angry red skies that were covered by the thickest of clouds, allowing only the faintest of light penetrations from the distant stars.
As such the chances of us seeing anything worthwhile was as small as seeing Chubby rejecting food.
Nevertheless, jianyu and kaisheng were two of the lucky ones who managed to see a streak of light for a very brief moment, while weijian and I were probably fast asleep on the cold, tar ground.
Its odd, but as my body lay on the floor and my head staring into the skies, I felt a little scared, and a little awe.
The sky was vast, almost too vast, and dark, becoming even itimidating for me to stare for a prolonged period of time.
Suddenly I had huge amounts of respect pouring out to the creator of the whole universe.
I cant put it into words...its just inexplicable seriously.
It stragely parallels the same emotions as I stared out into the sea when I was on the motor boat with chee yee during our scuba diving trip.
Although I didnt catch anything interesting, I did enjoy the cool sea breeze that swept the ground as we lay, searching for a piece of flaming rock that was another piece of our huge, unknown universe.
Friday, December 11, 2009

Wednesday, December 02, 2009
Its a typical Wednesday morning, and I'am lying on my bed having nothing better to do so here I am again.
During the period of the As, I had come across many new inspirations and experiences which I wish to share but had no chance of doing so.
One of which came when I was perusing the papers one fine day when I came upon a particular section in 'Mind Your Body' which I found very intreresting and relevant to all of us.
This is not meant to be some philosophical debate and I urge everyone to read on as I'am sure you've experienced it for yourselves as well.
Schadenfreude
It is a feeling no stranger than joy, happiness, sorrow or rage, but it is often ignored due to the fact that we all do not want to admit it.
Schadenfreude is German, representing the twisted delight one derives from seeing a fellow being's sadness.
It is the kind of happiness you will want to conceal beneath your hypocritical face as you reassure your friend that everything is going to be alright, when you arent really concerned at all, but instead, quite satisfied with it.
A quote I somehow came across on my ipod sums this up pretty succinctly
"NEVER tell your problems to anyone...20% dont care and the other 80% are glad you have them."
Well, first and foremost I will not recommend this advice to anyone having suicidal thoughts as evidence up to this day still suggests that it will be more benign to your mental health even if you are pouring words of grief into the ears of your realatively unconcerned friend.
Unless you're a saint sent down from heaven to save the world, I'am sure everyone had their moments of Schadenfrede from time to time.
The most recent memory that I have regarding this not-so-noble feeling would be the period of the As.
During the discussion of answers I could not help but feel a tinge of relief and even joy when someone came up to me and told me they got the wrong answer.
And after I screwed my chemistry paper, I was DELIGHTED when everyone complained that it was a killer paper.
Schadenfrede to its highest degree.
Of course, I reproached myself after that.
It is in all of us to habour such shameless thoughts after witnessing someone's fall.
Dunt worry, you're not on your way to become the devil incarnate, but its just part of who you are.
The more important issue here is how you deal with it.
Do you bask in ecstatic delight, or do you censure your own actions?
That is what I think matters the most.
Schadenfrede or not, I'am running late for my hot date with nich, LOL, to buy prom stuff, so I'll put an adrupt end to this post.
Meanwhile, I would love it if anyone posted their moments of schadenfrede on my tagboard in response to this entry, and this place can become more interactive instead.
Also, enjoy the background music sung by Taylor Swift. (my idol LOL)
Here are the lyrics below
You’re on the phone with your girlfriend, shes upset
Shes going off about something that you said
Cause she doesn’t get your humor like I do
I’m in my room, it’s a typical Tuesday night
I’m listening to the kind of music she doesn’t like
And she’ll never know your story like I do
But she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts
She’s cheer captain and I’m on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up
And find what you’re looking for has been here the whole time
If you could see that I’m the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can’t you see
You belong with me, you belong with me
Walkin’ the streets with you and your worn-out jeans
I can’t help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself
Hey isn’t this easy
And you’ve got a smile that could light up this whole town
I haven’t seen it in a while since she brought you down
You say you’re fine, I know you better then that
Hey whatcha doing with a girl like that
She wears high heels, I wear sneakers
Shes cheer captain and I’m on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you’re looking for has been here the whole time
If you could see that I’m the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can’t you see
You belong with me
Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know baby
You belong with me, you belong with me
Oh, I remember you drivin’ to my house in the middle of the night
I’m the one who makes you laugh, when you know you’re ’bout to cry
And I know your favorite songs and you tell me ’bout your dreams
Think I know where you belong, think I know it’s with me
Can’t you see that I’m the one who understands you
Been here all along, so why can’t you see
You belong with me
Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time How could you not know
Baby you belong with me, you belong with me
You belong with me
Have you ever thought just maybe you belong with me
You belong with me




